To boldly go (where many have gone before)

Today is my 29th birthday.  And while that may not be particularly remarkable in itself, the year ahead may well be.  For I’ve decided that come Jan 1st 2010, I shall be a full-time meditator.

As for what this will actually look like is still to be discovered.  But I do know that the most important thing is the commitment – the movement of heart that says aloud that this is what I’m doing, this is what I want to collect all my energies into – the commitment that will give me nowhere to hide and provide me with the edge and the insecurity that I so crave.

According to traditional social metrics I’ve had rather successful academic and professional careers but I increasingly see that my life’s central passion is deepening my understanding of the heart and this thing called mind. And indeed, reflecting on  my more recent professional achievements, I can clearly see that it is more the qualities that I have gained through dhamma practice that have been their main support – generosity, quality of attention and the ability to marry creativity and rigour. So why not see what happens?

But don’t get me wrong – I am still a passionate believer in that there is authentic awakening practice to be found in the busyness of modern urban life – it’s just that personally for me right now I wish to enter into a more explicitly dedicated form.  Rare indeed is the confluence of the levels of interest that I currently enjoy and even more rare is its combination with the means to service that interest and so to ignore that opporunity would be an act of spiritual criminality.

And let’s not ignore the fact that the vast majority of teachers and practitioners whose insights and understandings and indeed lives that I admire and aspire to have done long-term dedicated practice…and I don’t think that is a coincidence.  And when it comes down to it, given that the name of the Buddhist game is (literally) awakening and since I don’t yet know it, making a commitment to its cultivation seems like the only thing I can do.

So there we are.  In a way I see it like my doing a Masters…it just happens to be a Masters in the nature of our reality.  And importantly I’m making the point of not time-bounding the period…it could be 3 months it could be 3 years but to limit it before it’s even begun would emasculate the commitment underlying it all.

I have a feeling that 21awake will have quite a part to play in my ongoing journey so I look forward to developing the site in the coming months and sharing as much of my story as is useful.

I wonder…is digital mystic a reasonable job title to put on one’s business card?